What Are Your 5 Essentials?
FALL 2021
I needed to get to the top of something today.
I’ve spent the last three days immersed in the transformative experience that was my final training module of my coach certification program. Much of this training has felt like swimming: dipping a toe into the water, getting in and out to warm up, jumping in and diving down deep (into myself and the learning), and then coming back up for air. All the while under the loving supervision of some very skilled life guards (aka, my iPEC trainers). Today, though, it was the sky that I felt pulling me upward, inviting me to seek the 360 degree view and find a wider perspective. I also yearned to be alone with my heart and my contemplations, and to get my body moving after 30 hours of sitting in a Zoom classroom!
There is no more perfect place for me to find exactly what I sought than on the hiking trial. The moss-covered forest cathedrals and majestic mountain ranges of the PNW are my spiritual home, and I often turn to them to connect with both my inner being and something much larger than myself. These are the wild places where I often integrate new learnings and inner wisdom, and tap into new insights that bring me into a more compassionate, open, and generous relationship with myself and with the world around me. A brilliant peer coach also shared with me recently that the physical act of hiking is a rhythmic kinesthetic experience (like walking and dancing) that can shift our brains into a meditative state of consciousness, connecting us back to our body and to neural pathways that activate healing, wellness, and creativity.
So, I was happily and eagerly driving out of the city this morning on my way to the beautiful Mt. Si trail, when it dawned on me at the half-way point on the highway: I had left my hiking backpack at home, with most of my gear for the day inside of it.
After my initial forehead-slap moment, I quickly assessed my situation: do I turn back now for all of my gear, and then cut my hike short due to time constraints? Or do I keep moving forward and make do with whatever resources I have with me in the car in order to have enough time for the full hike? My intuition immediately answered that having enough time to climb to the top of the mountain today felt really important.
So, I listened and assessed again. While I didn’t have my ‘ideal’ set-up for the day, I did have five essential items that I knew would get me safely to the top and back down again in the light of the day: a water bottle, a lunch, my phone, a few warm clothing items, and my hiking boots. And while I didn’t have my ‘ideal’ carrying vessel in the form of a backpack, I did have a handy little tote bag in the back seat to carry my items.
I arrived at the parking lot feeling pretty good about my decision to carry on with my hiking plan, then hesitated when I loaded up the little tote with my essentials. “Am I really going to hike 8.5 miles today while carrying this floppy bag in my hand??” I told myself I could do it, to just keep switching hands! A mile in and I was already feeling tired from the initial climb. “Maybe I should take one of the side trails and do something a little easier today?” I wondered as I approached a junction. I reminded myself that, no, the climb was what I was seeking today!
And so, on I climbed, switching that awkward little tote bag from hand to hand, sweating and breathing deep, while the reflections and insights slowly began to rise to the surface. I felt my heart open and my spirit sing as my footfalls found their rhythm, and as I opened up to the sounds and sights of this restorative sanctuary.
I began to realize that the decision to move forward with this hike, with all of its challenges and imperfections, was a powerful metaphor for the way I’ve been slowly shifting my approach to my life and how I move through the world. The choice to “do it anyways” in the face of imperfection, and to let go of the belief that there was only one right way of doing something, opened the door for me to this incredible experience in one of the places I most love and treasure. I suddenly saw how the idea of the “essentials”, a term for the safety & comfort items that hikers are taught to always carry with them, aligns powerfully with the fact that we all have our specific support systems that help us most in the pursuit of our goals, that connect us to our happiness and sense of fulfillment, and that help us to find success in our lives. Just as my 5 essentials were the basic necessities I needed to reach the peak, so, too, will your ‘life essentials’ get you closer to where your heart wants to go.
What are YOUR ‘5 Life Essentials’?
My own coach asked me recently, as we were reflecting on our past year of working together, “What have you learned that you most need to sustain your growth & learning?” My evolving answer to that empowering question is what I’m now calling my 5 Life Essentials, the elements that I know support and nurture me best so I can keep my energy tank full and make choices that honor my highest values. While this is my own personal list, I encourage you to think of what resonates most deeply for you and what you tend to turn to in your own life when seeking to reset, refuel, and focus.
1) Sleep
I’m listing this one first because it’s often what gets attention last in our busy and full lives. When I prioritize my 8+ hours every night, and allow myself to take extra time for rest when I am weary, I’m better resourced and better able to live my higher value of serving others. Sleep is the most crucial and effective self-care strategy out there…when you’re struggling or overwhelmed or just want to feel better, try lying down for a while.
2) Time
Our time is both a precious and finite resource. When I give myself permission to take time off of work, to have at least one “do nothing” (or at the very least, “do less”) day a week, and to move at my own pace with projects and tasks, I feel more grounded, productive, and in flow. What I choose to spend my time on reflects my values, what & who I care about, and what I’m working towards. Or as the author James Clear puts it: “When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. No is a decision. Yes is a responsibility. Be careful what (and who) you say yes to. It will shape your day, your career, your family, your life.”
3) Space (for head & heart)
I have learned that, as much as I love others, I am someone who needs a lot of alone time. When I’m with people, I’m fully tuned in, present, and engaged in our interactions. This requires both a mental focus and a physical & spiritual energy that is both uplifting and needs replenishing afterwards. I commit every day to protecting at least an hour or two for myself, to daydream, to knit or read or listen to something meaningful, or to move my body. I’m learning that this is an important self-maintenance strategy that strengthens me in times of stress and helps me ward off the symptoms of burnout.
4) Nature & Movement
In addition to my treasured monthly hikes, I am incredibly fortunate to live and work in a place where I can commute to and from work every day on my bicycle. While it’s become so much of a routine that I tend to take it for granted, and it can sometimes feel like a bit of a drag during the rainy winter months, I’ve come to realize just how crucial this daily habit has become in maintaining my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The combination of moving my body while being outdoors is so simple (though access to quality outdoor experiences is not yet equitable), and produces magical results in terms of managing stress and connecting with something deeper and larger beyond our everyday worries.
5) My Support People
When I’m not sleeping or enjoying my alone time, I’m filling my cup by spending time with that circle of people who I’ve come to love, trust, respect, enjoy, and feel seen and inspired by. My Inner Circle of support is made up of the folks with whom I’ve developed a deeper kind of relationship: my best friends, my partner, supportive family members, my closest work colleagues, and members of my peer coaching community. These are the people with whom I spend most of my social time and energy, who I go to for guidance and in moments of vulnerability, when I need a shoulder to cry on or words of validation, and when I need a loving challenge to expand my perspective. The people with whom you share most of your time, heart, and energy will shape how you see yourself and how you show up in the world.
So, take some time to reflect on what arises for you in reading this post and in thinking about what your 5 Life Essentials might be. What might be possible for you if you prioritized your Essentials and let go of the idea of ‘perfection’ in your life? How do your 5 Essentials align with your higher values? What would it look like for you to take another step towards a current goal in your life in the simplest way possible, starting right where you are now with the resources you already have? Let your heart and intuition provide the answers, then use your logic to put your insights into action.
I’d love to hear what resonated for you in this article or what’s coming up for you…drop me a line at becky@coachinginthewild.com.
Yours in love, gratitude, and wildness,
Coach Becky
