Is Time On Your Side?
What are your beliefs about your TIME?
That it’s yours to design or controlled by everyone else?
That there’s never enough or plenty of it?
That it’s a well oiled machine or a slippery fish you can never wrangle?
Lately I’ve realized that own beliefs about my time have been on the more abundant side…maybe a little TOO abundant!
Thanks to some coaching I received this week, I’m realizing how my mindset of “Oh I’ll find some time to fit that in” is leading me to overbook and overcommit myself.
Sound familiar?
Now, I recognize that this mindset comes partly from a desire to want to do ALL OF THE THINGS. I’m curious and excited and passionate to learn and experience many different things in this life, AND I want to honor some of my highest values of serving & supporting others.
AND…I sometimes forget, as my mom once reminded me, to just stop and smell the roses.
When we don’t allow ourselves some time to slow down, to breathe, to play, and to just BE, we can make an unintentional detour towards burnout.
As caretakers and opportunity-seekers, we tend to want to say yes to everyone and everything. Yet there is some limit to how much we can give and participate on any given day, week, or month.
Saying ‘no’ might feel uncomfortable and even a little scary (what if I upset or disappoint someone? what if I miss out on something important?). While boundary-setting doesn’t always feel natural or ‘kind’ to those of us who identify as people-pleasers, it is quite necessary to maintain our own health and well-being.
The reality is that we actually cannot do all of the things all of the time. And if we want to do many, or even some, of the things that feel important to us, we need some kind of GPS to help guide us towards where we want to go and what we want to achieve without crashing along the way.
1) Get Real with Yourself: One way that you can honor your natural rhythms and daily realities is by scheduling tasks and action items at times that you can reasonably work on them and that won’t add undue stress to parts of your day. For example: if you do your best creative thinking in the afternoon, protect a portion of that time of your day to write or create; if you only have 30 minutes between getting home from work and an evening commitment, consider what would best serve you & your goals rather than try to quickly cram in one more larger task/to-do item that might need more time and consideration. Another helpful question to ask yourself is about the urgency and flexibility of the situation: do I HAVE to enroll in this online workshop now or will it be recorded/offered again down the road? Do I NEED to do this task/project myself, or can I delegate it/ask for support/seek out this service elsewhere to either make it more manageable or take it off of my plate?
2) Prioritize Wellness: Are you hungry? Exhausted? Upset? Grieving? Tend to your emotional and physical needs first before trying to tackle a project, joining a Zoom call, or jumping into that to-do list. And sometimes canceling that meeting is the most loving choice you can make (hint: we’d all be secretly thrilled if you canceled that meeting because we all need the gift of more time, too! - here’s a 10% Happier Podcast Episode about that truth). It’s only when we secure our own oxygen mask first that we can be of most help and support to others.
3) Say YES to Your Values & Goals: Take a look at your calendar. Go ahead, I’ll wait...:). What do you see reflected back to you? Is there work that feels meaningful and aligned with your higher purpose? Is there time scheduled with the people you love and care about? Are there events and experiences that are joyful, inspiring, creative, fun, and/or connected to your goals? And are there “empty spaces” left over for you to just relax and breathe and be and maybe take a nap or a walk or a bath or go to bed early with your favorite book? (You know, smelling the roses kind of stuff…)
You can find simple ways to make your time work for you, rather than feel overly burdened and controlled by it.
“You can have it all. Just not all at once..” - Oprah Winfrey
What’s one thing you’d like to differently next week to make your approach to time feel supportive, nourishing, and empowering to you?
If you’re looking for more support around your relationship with time, book a complimentary call with me here! We’ll chat about how coaching can help you to get clear on your values and design a life that reflects how you most want to spend your precious time in this life.
In love, light, and wildness,
Becky
