The Space That You’re In

I’ve been thinking a lot about the role of environment lately.

By environment, I mean the broader Oxford Dictionary definition of “the surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates.”

How often do you notice the space that you’re in and the effect it has on you every day?

Our environment can have a big impact on our energy, our sense of well-being, and our ability to attend to what’s important to us. Often to a degree that we may not even be fully aware of.

For those who grew up in chaotic or unpredictable home situations, we may have become quite accustomed to ignoring or even tuning out the space we’re in. Some of us find joy in the “mess” of daily life, while others might feel immediate tension at the first sight of something “out of place” in their surroundings.

When you know the impact that different environments have on your stress level, ability to focus, access to creative thinking and problem-solving, and overall energy, you can begin to create a greater level of intention and choice in your life around how you SHAPE and SEE that environment.

I grew up in a loving and often chaotic environment. The youngest of four, I came into a family with two working parents and three rambunctious brothers who had moved multiple times across several rural towns before settling into an old two-story farm house that we packed to the brim over many decades. I also spent much of my childhood with my grandparents in their cozy mobile home off a country road that reflected the mentality of their wartime upbringings (keep everything!).

As I grew up and developed my own living habits and aesthetic, I came to rebel against these styles in my own quiet way by seeking and striving for order and tidiness in much of my work & living environment. When I was a full-time teacher, I would spend so much time and energy obsessing over and rearranging my classroom environments, in making sure things were clean & beautiful & “perfect” for my kids’ needs, that I would sometimes run myself into the ground from exhaustion and stressing over the small stuff (”why aren’t the kids putting things away in the right baskets the way I want them to?!?”). And then, of course, the universe brought me into relationship with a wonderful human who is almost at the complete opposite end of the spectrum from me when it comes to arranging environments (”making piles” is his go-to strategy for working on projects and sorting things in his life…my go-to strategy is “removing his piles from my line of sight as quickly as possible.” :))

We just moved into a new home recently and are still in that phase of living out of and around a sea of boxes. And we’d spent the previous month doing much of the same as we packed up to leave our old place. For someone like myself who tends to seek tidiness and order, it’s a recipe for that familiar stress and exhaustion to return. And you can bet I’ve had my share of challenging days lately!

Yet, within all of this chaos has emerged an opportunity: I’m learning that, when there’s so much around me that I can’t immediately change or have full control over, focusing on what I CAN control and what DOES bring me a sense of peace and grounded-ness in my environment is a strategy that is bringing me some stability in a time of transition.

For example: I took the approach of one-corner-or-one-shelf-at-a-time this past weekend as I sorted through the boxes filled with our lives. Rather than get bogged down in the minutia of every box, I focused first on getting the couch set up where we wanted it, or getting the silverware drawer sorted. Just getting that one “thing” accomplished felt like a mini win every time, and opened up a little more breathing space within me. Back at the old house, as rooms became more disheveled during our move, I shoved my little meditation cushion into the doorway of my office/guest room so I could gaze out the window in the morning before heading off to work. That little moment of peace settled my nervous system enough to help me start my day from a more grounded space.

While there may be some or even several components of your environment that you have little to no ability to control (children, spouse/partner, roommates, room/home layout, expense of new decor or furniture, etc.), there is always one thing that you have total power over: your perspective (i.e, WHERE and HOW you look at things).

Here are some guidelines that might help you as you think about the role of environment in your own life:

*What is your preferred type of environment to work or live in? Are you a tidy minimalist or do you love a space full of decor/materials/interesting items to fill the senses? Do you like things “put away” or are you comfortable with the “piles” approach?

*Is there something about your work or living environment that you’re currently dissatisfied with? And can you change that in some way?

*If YES, pick ONE thing to start with: you can play with the room arrangement, decor, sound, lighting, comfort & aesthetic appeal of furniture, tools to minimize interruptions, space to be alone or to co-work/socialize, an inspiring quote or piece of art to catch your eye…pick the one thing that feels both doable in the short term and that lights a little spark of joy in you

*If NO, focus on shifting your perspective: where can you “look” to reduce tension and bring in more ease/peace/grounded-ness/acceptance/joy?

This past week in the new house I found myself getting pulled towards what I perceived as all the “problems” and started to create an unhelpful story in my head: “the rooms are too small! the train yard nearby is too loud! we can never host overnight guests!” Thanks to some coaching, I was able to release these unsupportive thoughts and shift into seeing everything that is right about our new home: the beautiful wood floors, the light streaming in, the just-right-size rooms to host people we love….and with a shift in perspective, comes gratitude.

Take a look around at the space you are in…what in that space brings you a sense of peace, of ease, of contentment, of joy? What makes you tense up or feel a heaviness enter in your body? Pick ONE thing in that environment that is currently bringing you down or distracting you that you can remove or change up.

And remember, the most powerful starting place may just be from the space within you.

Yours in love, light, and wildness,

Becky

P.S. - For more ideas and a deeper dive into the role that environment plays on your mental health, check out this article from VeryWellMind.com